Hi There! and a Post for Moms

I am back to refresh my blog, recapture your fandom, and toot my little horn. Are you excited? I am. This feels right. So, how are you? Really. It's been a year and I am hoping your journey has been as amazing as you are. I have been on a faster moving train since last we met here and I have been {desparately} trying to slow down. If, for no other reason, then to improve my health. I'm still alive and kickin' and have the writing bug at present. Shall we?

Caveat: I'm calling this a Post for Moms because it serves to give kudos to something only moms can do - breastfeed. If this topic makes you uncomfortable...I do understand and will be so pleased when you check back tomorrow for a totally unrelated post. Thank you in advance for understanding and tuning in later.

Okay, so we did it! 955 days. Or 2 years, 7 months, and 10 days. Not all day, every day of course. However we count it...I am so proud that we did it! Oh, I guess I should tell you what we did first. My lil S is officially weaned from nursing. She breastfed or nursed well past the point of my intentions. I remember at 9 months feeling ready on my part to cease and desist. She had other plans. And, so we prevailed until 15 days ago. I was unexpectedly separated from her and my Big S for 3 nights and cautioned to dump any breastmilk for a couple more days after that due to emergency healthcare procedures and medications. So, no more num-nums. Cold turkey baby. And that was that. She hasn't cried for it. Barely asked about it. Lil S is, after all, a big girl now.

My back story is that I was so devastated when my attempts to nurse my firstborn failed. I was very confused, as many first time moms are, and could not understand what I had done wrong. Well, based on the beautiful, bright, darling 7 year old that my Big S has turned into...it's hard to have regrets about anything. However, I now know the wonderful bond that nursing a child creates. The hard work in the beginning is so worth it when you (finally) find what works for you and your baby. And, as they grow into toddlerhood, to be able to comfort them with something no one else can offer is priceless. In the grand scheme of things, 955 days is but a fleeting moment in the days we call them "baby". I wouldn't trade those days for anything.

So, if you are reading this and you were successful in any attempt at breastfeeding your child or children - I salute you. Kudos Mama and babe! Just know, that I can relate to the bottle as well. Support is so important in either scenario. So is flexibility, as in, there are times when it's okay to pump and bottle feed. We even transitioned to several formula feedings combined with several breast feedings per day for part of the first year. There are also times when the book needs to be thrown out and you go with your "mommy sense", watch, and listen to your baby's own special requests. Do what works, not what the experts tell you to do.

Speaking of experts, I once read that your co-sleeping child will not be sleeping in your bed when they graduate from high school. The same is true for the nursing child. I never dreamed lil S would nurse until going on 3 years old. But, when the time came to wean...we moved on with a smile.

Thanks for letting me do a little happy dance here today. I couldn't resist letting the moment pass undocumented. See you back here tomorrow for more fun!

Easter Sunday 2011 - We Would See Jesus

As my Season of Quiet grows to a close for this year, I am looking forward to the next phase of my blog. I am thinking about the direction I want to take with it and I hope you will find it fresh and interesting when I figure out the next step.

Meanwhile, I sat to play some hymns this afternoon and found one that reminds me that my faith doesn't stop at the Cross. The Resurrection of Christ is not just a point in time locked away two thousand years ago. We still have this hope...hope that soon We Would See Jesus.

"We would see Jesus;" for the shadows lengthen
Across the little landscape of our life;
We would see Jesus, our weak faith to strengthen
For the last conflict, in this mortal strife.
"We would see Jesus;" this is all we're needing -
Strength, Joy, and willingness come with the sight;
We would see Jesus, dying, risen, pleading,
Soon to return and end this mortal night! ~Anna B. Warner

Happy Easter!

Holy Thursday - In Remembrance

"Maundy Thursday", or Holy Thursday, commemorates Jesus' last meal and meeting with his inner circle. There are many lessons set forth by Jesus at the Last Supper, which are documented in the gospels. Some examples that come to mind are humility, servitude, sacrifice, Passover Lamb, New Covenant...you can discover more by reading here: Matthew 26:17-30; Mark 14:12-25; Luke 22:7-20.

I thought I would like to create a simple post today of the things that I am thankful for. Just some of what the Lord has done in my life and heart since I was saved. Tomorrow is Good Friday, the day we commemorate Jesus' death on the cross. What is so good about that? The "good" part reminds me of the good things He has blessed me with. Of course, the good news of Jesus' Crucifixion was that he paid my sin debt in full and and suffered the torturous, humiliating death penalty that I deserved. He rose from the grave, a conqueror, showing that I serve a living Savior. He did all this out of love, and so I could take hold of the the life God intended for me to live. I am most thankful for this! {John 3:16}

God has blessed me with:

~The divinely inspired Word of God - The Bible.
~Prayer. A two-way communication link between heaven and earth.
~The power of the Holy Spirit living within me.
~A Christian husband and leader of my family.
~The fellowship with and discipleship of the Body of Christ (Christians around the world).
~A biblically based church and pastors who lift up the name of Jesus and teach a message of hope.
~Peace that passes understanding when faced with worldly insecurities such as job loss and sickness.
~The "two biggest jewels in my crown" (as husband calls them), big kid and little kid. I am thankful for the opportunity to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. They also teach me about the heart of God every day. {And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3 NIV}

The list goes on. It will continue as He reveals more of His plan for my life. What about you? Is there something you are especially thankful for today?

Day 42 Season of Quiet - It All Comes Down to Grace

I was given a large nail at church on Sunday. I'm turning it over in my hands and I start imagining Jesus on the cross - one nail-pierced hand in God's hand and the other reaching out to me. Bringing us together. So I could experience - so you could experience - true life.

Now that I've shared my testimony and my Season of Quiet intentions, you may be surprised by this little newsflash:
I'm still a sinner. *Gasp* I failed over and over in my good intentions these past 40 days. I'm still addicted to caffeine. I still sometimes hit the snooze button in lieu of my quiet time with God. I frequently lose my temper and yell at my kids. The list goes on. Yep, every day I fall in various aspects of my Christian walk. I keep striving to be more like Him, but it's only by His grace that I can do anything. That's the difference in my former sinful self and my new life in Christ - GRACE!

God, who foresaw your tribulation, has specially armed you to go through it, not without pain but without stain. ~C.S. Lewis

Without stain. This was difficult for me to accept at first - my old tradition programmed me to believe that just one sin could keep me from heaven. Talk about pressure for perfection. Now, I confess, I repent, I pray for strength, and I pick myself up and move on! There has only been one perfect man to ever walk the earth. He took the death penalty for my mistakes and carried it up on beaten and bloody shoulders. He pushed it up a hill. He cried out in agony as my sin and your sin and every sin since Eve ate the apple was driven into His hands and feet, pierced through His side, pressed down upon Him and crushed Him. He who was without stain was tortured, bled, and died so that I could truly live. Why? Because God loves us that much and gives us that much grace.

What is grace? Grace is God's unmerited favor. It is kindness from God we don't deserve. There is nothing we have done, nor can ever do to earn this favor. It is a gift from God. Grace is divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration (rebirth) or sanctification. Grace reminds me of the bumper sticker I love that reads: "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven"!

Free gift? Debts paid in full? What a burden lifted!

I was at the top of my game in 2008. I had it all together, or so I thought. Big time job, new big SUV, etc. That's right, just one year before the perfect storm I told you about in my testimony. What I've learned is that nothing I could hope for in this world can give me peace and security. Governments will fall, material wealth fades. The world tells us we need to be more, have more, do more. We are needy, but true life is not promised us in anything of this world.

Consider this verse, emphasis mine:

1 Timothy 6:17-19 - Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

One out of one of us is going to die. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I'm going to be with Jesus when I die. Do you? Today we have a choice. There will come a day, when there is no longer a choice. If you are interested in finding out how to have more joy and grace in this life and life everlasting when you die, I encourage you to view this presentation and make your commitment today:

http://www.hutchcraft.com/yours-for-life/presentation/alpha

Palm Sunday Season of Quiet - My Testimony

According to His great mercy, He has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that is imperishable, uncorrupted, and unfading, kept in heaven for you. 1 Peter 1:3-4

Sacred Assembly. Time of Confession. My mind and heart rewind to a place where I am broken hearted. Failed. Drowning. Helpless. Up against the wall. Sick. We've all been there in some form or fashion. 2009 was a desperate time for me. And yet out of pain comes healing. Even joy. New life.

The highlight of 2009 was the baby we prayed for, who came mid-crisis and mid-year. Savannah - "treeless plain" unintentionally describing our barren table when she arrived that year. Middle name after her Momma's - Joy. The hope for joy around the corner.

Rewind 35 years more - I am born third generation Seventh-Day Adventist. My own strong Momma who carries Joy in her name, ensures that I am raised in church and observing every Sabbath for over 18 years. I am baptized at the age of ten. I attend church schools. Unfortunately, it is overall, a joy-less faith for me. Although it did provide Christian values that give me moral ground and conviction in the face of many worldly circumstances. Yet, as I strayed from my Christian tradition in my college years, I always felt there was "something more than this". It would take me many years and heartaches, a marriage, and two children to bring me to the something more. Real Joy.

Back to 2009. I have a friend and former co-worker, who in my estimation, is one of the "best Christian ladies" I have ever known. Not perfect. But, she was unafraid to share her faith and invite me to her church. Yes, I told myself! Church must be where I will find that "missing something" for me and my family. I took my big kid to their community children's events, we visited the worship hour a couple of times. Loved the service, the music, the message. Then, something surprising happened.

I, one who never shied away from a new job, a new opportunity, a fresh start...would not budge from my comfort zone. Of course, at this point, my husband was working many hours and multiple jobs to keep our new "cash only" budget in the black and was not open to attending church regularly. My comfort zone kept me from continuing to attend without him. So, after a few visits, I figured it was back to "church shopping" or sleeping in on Sundays. I'm still a Christian, whether I go to church or not, I told myself and the world. So, why did I still feel so empty?

If there's one thing I have learned, God has a plan. He works this plan out in His own time, His way. I remember a couple of years ago, posting to my social network status: "Doing it my way!" That sure was true, and I sure did fail! I talked about God and Jesus with my big kid, and as she attended church camp and began the school year anew, she told me - "Mom, I don't want to visit any more churches. Mount Zion is my church!" I told her Dad this, and he agreed to give it another chance. We inquired about how to join, so we could be official members. (Remember, we considered ourselves Christians. Even had a membership at another Christian church - in name only. In my mind, if anyone needed "saving"...it was my husband.) Ah, the beauty of His plan unfolds.

Pastor Jeff asked if he could meet with us outside of the church service, because he "likes to really get to know people who join his church". Ouch...comfort zone pain...no like. We agreed to meet with him (just a formality, we told ourselves).

He told us his background as a youth, which included his former tradition - Catholic. Okay, here's somebody we could identify with..."I'm ex-SDA", I say...Husband says his religious background is a confusing mix of "every Christian church his mom visited" and the Jehovah's Witness meetings he was forced to attend every summer with his dad. Top that Mr. Ex-Catholic turned Baptist, we thought. Oh, he did.

We asked questions like: What does it mean to be Baptist? How do you join this church? Can we just get a letter from our old church? Pastor Jeff likes to be sure people in his church understand what being a Christian means. Christian first, Baptist also. God placed my friend in my life to bring me to Mount Zion, a biblically sound church. In this church are people who care about my salvation, like Pastor Jeff and Miss Carol (who took hours of her time to explain to me their children's ministry - very important to my comfort zone). It had to be these people, this church, this day in late September. We had been broken, we had been desperate, and we were now seeking the joy that we saw these people had in their lives!

Here's what Pastor Jeff shared with my husband and myself that day. The three of us in his office. No, make that four of us.

God loves you and wants you to experience peace and life - abundant and eternal. {Rom.5:1, Jn.3:16, Jn.10:10} The problem is our separation from God (all of mankind chooses to go our own willful way). {Rom.3:23, Rom.6:23} People have tried in many ways to bridge this gap between themselves and God. Such as: Good Works, Religion, Philosophy, Morality. <---THIS PART STRUCK A CHORD WITH MY HUSBAND AND ME! {Prov.14:12, Is.59:2} No bridge reaches God - Except One. Jesus Christ died on a cross and rose from the grave. He paid the penalty for all of our sins. Past. Present. Future. He bridged the gap between God and people. {1 Tim.2:5, 1 Peter 3:18, Rom.5:8} We must TRUST Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior and receive Him by personal invitation. <---WE TALKED ABOUT THIS LATER AND WE AGREED THAT HE HAD BEEN KNOCKING ON THE DOOR, THIS WAS THE DAY HE OPENED THE DOOR AND SAT DOWN ON THE THRONE IN OUR HEARTS AND LIVES. {Rev.3:20, Jn.1:12, Rom.10:9}

We prayed with the pastor, admitting our need, repenting, believing, trusting, and inviting the fourth "person", the Holy Spirit, to control our lives from this point forward. Amen and Amen. We were baptized on 10/10/10. Our spiritual birthday, the day we entered into a life of Joy.

It is rare for husband and wife to accept Jesus and be saved at the same time. It just usually happens a different points in each person's life. In the months since we were born again, my husband and I have worked out our faith together and I truly believe that "even then, God knew about today". Just as my friend, our pastor, all the people who have already ministered to us in our church were placed in our lives...He brought the two of us together as part of His plan.

There is so much more to the story. If you'll stay with me this Passion Week, I will share more about what Jesus saved me from, how my life is different because of Christ, and the good things the Lord has done for me. As we approach Easter, we will turn to what Jesus' suffering and death on the cross means.

Until then, please consider these scriptures and song lyrics for meditation in your quiet time:
Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Rom.10:13. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know you have eternal life." 1 John 5:12-13

I’ve found his grace is all complete,
He supplies my every need,
While I sit and learn at Jesus’ feet,
I am free indeed.

What kind of joy is this?

It’s joy unspeakable: all you’ve done for me,
It’s indescribable, just a taste of your glory,
And it’s unnatural not to tell the story of all you’ve given me,
My words are incomplete,
It’s joy unspeakable.

I’ve found the pleasure I once craved,
It’s joy and peace within, within,
What a wondrous blessing,
I am saved from the awful gulf of sin.

It’s joy unspeakable: all you’ve done for me,
It’s indescribable, just a taste of your glory,
It’s unnatural not to tell the story of all you’ve given me,
My words are incomplete.

I’ve found the joy no tongue can tell,
How its waves of glory roll,
It is like an overflowing well,
Springing up within my soul.

It’s joy unspeakable: all you’ve done for me,
It’s indescribable, just a taste of your glory,
And it’s unnatural not to tell the story of all you’ve given me,
My words are incomplete,
It’s joy unspeakable.

Joy unspeakable,
What kind of joy is this?

~Todd Agnew

Day 33 Season of Quiet - Fasting and Consecration

Thank you for allowing me a break from posting updates this past week. I really enjoyed Spring Break (and celebrating another year of life also)!

We are nearing the end of this theme of a Season of Quiet as we approach Palm Sunday a week from today. I will be fasting for the next seven days and renewing my covenant commitment to Jesus Christ, whose life we celebrate on Resurrection Sunday or Easter.

Blow the trumpet in Zion, declare a holy fast, call a sacred assembly. Gather the people, consecrate the assembly.Joel 2:15-16 NIV

During the days of the prophet Joel, a great swarm of locusts brought devastation to the nation. The quote above was Joel's shout to the people, declaring a return to the LORD with all their hearts. Now is the time for us to return to a right relationship with God.

My spiritual leader, who goes by the name Pastor Jeff, has called our church to a time of fasting and prayer. "Fasting is one of the most neglected of all spiritual disciplines in the church today. Throughout the Bible, fasting was a way that intensified one's walk with God and made God's people more in tune with His voice."

I have no dietary or medical restrictions, but I am choosing the partial fast that is set forth in Daniel chapter 10. I will abstain from eating meats, sweets, breads, pastas, and all liquids except water until after worship next Sunday. As you know from my post about caffeine, this will be a challenge and be a true sacrifice!

I will also be fasting from Facebook and this blog, so look for the next Life Beyond PBJ post to come on the afternoon of Palm Sunday as we start the holy week leading up to Easter. I hope to have a post each day next week highlighting my personal testimony and what this Season of Quiet has taught me, how it has changed my heart about certain areas of my life.

I challenge you to do one sacrificial thing this week that answers God's call, "Return to Me." Heal your marriage, your family, your church, your city. Prepare to enter His presence on Easter Sunday. Peace be with you in this Season of Quiet.

For Meditation April 4, 2011

Today I'm posting a link to a blog entry that I really identify with and could have written about my own experience. It's by Lisa Whittle and she writes about quiet time here:

http://www.incourage.me/2011/04/little-girl-alone-with-jesus.html